Submission of Women: The Religious Perspective
Addressing That Ephesians Passage Part 2
“Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the savior of his body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ: so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things.”
These statements have always bothered me for more than one reason. However, it would seem that I'm not the only one who finds this toxic idealogy problematic.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning.
The Christian Interpretation of the Ephesians Passage
The concept of submission of women is not a new idea. It has existed across a variety of societies, religions, and times.
What is interesting about this passage is the time and context it was written. Originally written in Greek by St. Paul, most notably during a time when women had few rights. Women weren’t allowed to speak to men in public, worship with men or divorce their husbands, much less hold leadership positions.
When Jesus came he shocked his disciples when he spoke to a woman in public, stopped a public stoning of an accused woman, and allowed, in fact, he encouraged, women, to become his disciples. It is interesting that St. Paul, who was an apostle to Jesus, would write a passage that diminished the equality of women when his Lord and Savior's very actions spoke to the immense love and respect he had for women.
Moreover, translating the bible from Greek to English is a difficult task and no doubt left out important details, context, and tone that Paul might have conveyed.
Nevertheless, instead of exploring how translating certain words could change the meaning of the passage or how St. Paul’s attitude might differ from Jesus Christ’s own actions, Christians have used the literal translation of this passage to convey the roles and duties men and women are to perform in marriage.
This bible passage has been defined in Christian marriages to mean that a married woman must submit to the authority of her husband as head of the household.
This is supposedly how women find happiness within their marriage. Submission is not a weakness but a strength that will allow you to become closer to your husband and God. Submission does not mean women cannot state their opinion. In fact, it is encouraged. However, their opinion becomes moot if their husband disagrees with it and decides to go in a different direction.
This is a voluntary action where a wife is supposed to please her husband and act under his authority. Women are there to be supportive of their husband’s leadership, but never to lead. Similar to how the church is to act in a supportive role to the will and authority of Christ. In this way, the voluntary submission of women is supposed to mirror how the church acts underneath Christ.
Argument Against Submission of Women
I mentioned earlier that I have a crucial figure within the Catholic church as my source.
A Catholic Pope, and a Saint no less, wrote an encyclical back in the late 80s actively opposing the submission of women in marriage.
Which Pope might you ask?
Pope Saint John Paul II (who I will refer to as JPII from now on) speaks extensively on this subject throughout his encyclical, The Dignity and Vocation of Women On The Occasion of the Marian Year.
For those of you who don’t know what an encyclical is, it's a document that is written by a sitting Pope. He writes down his interpretation of a particular church teaching, to make it easier and more accessible for the general public to understand.
So when I stumbled across this document I was pretty shocked. Especially since this was not something that popped up as the number 1 search on google. Instead, books and blogs about “how to be submissive in marriage” (barf), “what does submission in marriage look like” (gag), and “what does it mean to be a submissive wife” (actually vomiting this time) are the top search results.
His teachings are directly in conflict with these prevailing ideas. He advocates for mutual submission of both parties and has a larger, more powerful calling regarding how men should act during the marriage. Take this incredibly important passage for example,
“A human being, whether male or female, is a person, and therefore, "the only creature on earth which God willed for its own sake"; at the same time this unique and unrepeatable creature "cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of self".[32] Here begins the relationship of "communion" in which the "unity of the two" and the personal dignity of both man and woman find expression. Therefore when we read in the 13 biblical descriptions the words addressed to the woman: "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you" (Gen 3:16), we discover a break and a constant threat precisely in regard to this "unity of the two" which corresponds to the dignity of the image and likeness of God in both of them. But this threat is more serious for the woman since domination takes the place of "being a sincere gift" and therefore living "for" the other: "he shall rule over you". This "domination" indicates the disturbance and loss of the stability of that fundamental equality which the man and the woman possess in the "unity of the two": and this is especially to the disadvantage of the woman, whereas only the equality resulting from their dignity as persons can give to their mutual relationship the character of an authentic "communio personarum". While the violation of this equality, which is both a gift and a right deriving from God the Creator, involves an element to the disadvantage of the woman, at the same time it also diminishes the true dignity of the man…” (Section 10, paragraph 1)
You’ll notice the common theme of this passage from JPII is unity. And the explicit threat to this unity and the dignity of the individuals in the marriage is the domination of men over women.
Or more simply put, submission of women.
Moreover, JPII further elaborates on a mutual submission of both parties. He then throws out the notion that submission in marriage should mirror the submission of the church to Christ:
“…whereas in the relationship between Christ and the Church, the subjection is only on the part of the Church, in the relationship between husband and wife the "subjection" is not onesided but mutual.” (Section 24, paragraph2)
This is a significant change from the rhetoric that preaches submission only applies to women in marriage, not men.
For a sitting Pope to write about unity in marriage and advocate against the submission of women and the dominance of men, shows how important this document is for Catholics. Especially regarding how Catholics should act in marriage amid false interpretations of the subject.
He warns Catholics that placing women beneath men will lead not only to the loss of autonomy within women but also to the demise of men themselves. Instead, he calls upon both women and men to fully give themselves to their partners if they are to truly uphold the dignity of both men and women.
He further states that this idea of the submission of women and the domination of men is a huge problem for marriage. When a married couple follows this ideology, a woman begins to live for her husband and not for herself.
JPII argues that this type of submission creates a break in the unity of the relationship, which in turn affects the love within the relationship. And in the more religious sense, greatly affects your relationship with God.
In other words, you cannot find happiness or love for your partner if you are living for them. You cannot have a relationship with God if you do not have autonomy.
Furthermore, JPII also mentions in this passage that it is a violation of equality between the sexes, which is both a gift and a right. This significant statement has been ignored (or perhaps not widely known) by Catholics who advocate for the submission of women in marriage.
Let me say that again: women, JPII says you have an inherent right to be treated as an equal.
JPII even cites the book of Genesis as part of his argument, explicitly stating equality has been established between the sexes since the beginning of time.
So easily do Catholics (and Christians) seem to forget the foundational teachings that are found in the book of Genesis. I distinctly remember studying the book and the creation of the world. I remember discussions about how Eve was created out of the rib of Adam to signify their equality.
We even had discussions about how God could have chosen any other part to create Eve. The head, which would signify intellectual superiority, or the foot, signifying her inferiority. However, it is distinctly stated Eve was created out of the rib of Adam because they were created equal.
Marriage is an institution so revered and so respected within the Catholic faith. To the point where it seems one's only goal in life is to get married and have children. Yet, the minute a woman enters marriage, she is supposed to submit to her husband's will and no longer be treated like an equal.
Instead, marriage becomes yet another instance of oppression against women. A woman no longer possesses that God-given equality established back in Genesis. Instead, she is to somehow thrive inside an environment that treats her less than her male counterpart, while preaching that is the only path to happiness.
Except, Catholics, a significant figure of the church would argue otherwise. He believed and wrote extensively that the only way to find true happiness and have a meaningful relationship, is to have a relationship that is built on unity and equality.
Perhaps it is time to stop clinging to ideals that promise control over and the objectification of women.
Instead, start viewing marriage the way it is supposed to be and how YOUR Pope has now just taught you what marriage is. Two people united for life and equal in every way.
The rhetoric of submission of women in marriage is much like the Trojan horse promise from the Greeks to the Troys. It promises to create a marriage in which happiness can only be achieved when women submit themselves to their husbands.
But all that is waiting for you inside is the loss of a woman’s autonomy, the dominance of men, and the threat of becoming an object of man’s desire for a servant, not a partner.
If JPII felt so strongly about unity as the basis of marriage, perhaps Catholics it is time to find a new passage from the bible that better suits what marriage is all about.
One that doesn’t talk about the submission of women.
Until next time,
Anne’s Musings